Mexico vs. Singapore: Why Trust & Community Became My Expat 'Home'

Episode #0053

Folks, what an episode we just had with Fatima Martinez! Seriously, if you thought you knew what an "expat journey" was, you haven't heard *anything* yet. We went on such a wild ride, from Mexico to London, China, Singapore, and now the Middle East. My head is still spinning, but in the best possible way. There were so many moments I just wanted to hit pause and dig even deeper, and that's exactly what this blog post is for.

This isn't just a story about moving around; it’s about transformation, finding yourself, losing yourself, and then finding what truly matters. And trust me, you're going to want to hear about the 24/7 WhatsApp doctors. Yes, you read that right.

From Reddit Rabbit Holes to Real-Life Adventures

You know me, I love a good internet rabbit hole. And that's exactly where I found Fatima. I was digging around in one of my expat communities on Reddit, and I stumbled upon this message that just screamed out at me: "Dear Singapore, I miss you." It was raw, emotional, and intriguing. I *had* to talk to the person who wrote it. Luckily, Fatima replied, and the rest, as they say, is podcast history!

What struck me immediately was Fatima’s incredible independence from such a young age. We talked about her being a national-level triathlete, training and living on her own in Mexico City since she was 16. Sixteen! I was probably still trying to figure out how to ride my bike without training wheels at that age, let alone navigate international competitions. That kind of early self-reliance really sets a person up for a life of adventure, doesn't it? It builds a muscle for saying "yes" to the unknown.

"Mexico is Too Mexican" – And Other Existential Crises at 18

Fatima’s reason for leaving Mexico initially was so blunt and honest: "Mexico is too Mexican. And I don't like that." It sounds almost flippant, but when you hear her explain her "existential middle-age crisis" at 18, it makes total sense. She’d lived this incredibly regimented, disciplined life as an athlete, and suddenly she just needed… *more*. She needed to explore, to reinvent herself. I totally get it. Sometimes you just need to shed the skin of who you're "supposed" to be and find out who you *could* be.

She picked London for university almost on a whim, loving the public transport and the freedom of being able to dress however she wanted without judgment. That small detail about public transport really resonated with me. I mean, after my first trip to New York, the thing I raved about most to my friends wasn't the Statue of Liberty or Times Square, it was the *metro*. That feeling of being able to go *anywhere* without a car, without relying on anyone, is pure liberation. Especially coming from a small village like mine in Romania, it’s mind-blowing.

Breaking All the Rules (and Traditions!)

Now, this part had me laughing out loud. Fatima meets her Norwegian husband in London, and they decide to get married in their final year of university. Her parents’ reaction? "Isn't he gonna ask for your hand?" And Fatima’s perfect retort: "Who is he gonna ask for my hand? He asked *me*!" I loved that! It just shows how she wasn't going to be confined by traditional expectations, especially given her strong female lineage (her grandmother ran the first travel agency in their state after being widowed with seven kids!).

Speaking of unexpected twists, we then hopped over to China, where Fatima and her husband taught English. The culture shock was real, but she spoke so beautifully about the generosity of the Chinese people once you break through that initial reserve. And then, the telenovela story. Oh. My. God. Can you believe she found a taxi driver in rural China who was a HUGE fan of Mexican soap operas, specifically *Yesenia*? I literally got goosebumps! You know how much I love a good telenovela reference ("Cambio Dolor, felicidad" anyone?). It just shows you, sometimes the world is a much smaller, funnier place than we imagine.

Singapore: The Love/Hate Relationship That Became "Home"

Fatima’s journey to Singapore was deeply personal, complicated by a previous miscarriage and then being pregnant again when they moved. She openly admitted hating Singapore in that first year – the heat, the isolation, the sheer mental exhaustion of moving countries while expecting. She even romanticized London, thinking it would be easier.

But then, the turning point. She went back to London with a baby and realized what a nightmare it was (no lifts in tube stations, no changing facilities – a horror show!). Singapore, on the other hand? It was a paradise for new parents. Everything was set up: mommy groups, lactation consultants, confinement nannies (who make special teas for your "blood energy" – amazing!), and just an overall focus on supporting mothers.

And then, COVID hit. This is where Singapore truly shone for Fatima. The government's proactive, transparent response, the mask-wearing culture, the free tests, the incredibly organized vaccination rollout… but the kicker? When her kids got COVID, they were assigned *two* doctors on WhatsApp, 24/7, who would call them regularly to check in. For free! As a parent, that level of support is just mind-blowing. It's a testament to a system that truly prioritizes its citizens, regardless of background.

The Kampong Spirit: Why Singapore Felt Like Home

This sense of safety, clarity, and community is what made Singapore feel like home to Fatima. She talked about leaving her bag on a chair and finding it hours later, a bus driver returning her forgotten phone, neighbors organizing community events, and everyone collectively watching out for the kids at the playground. They call it the "kampung spirit" – the neighborhood spirit, where people help each other.

This really hit me. I often talk about how we, as social animals, *need* community. We need to trust our neighbors, to know that if our kids are outside, someone will look out for them. I always go back to something I read in Michelle Obama's book, about how "the community was raising the child." That's what's missing in so much of our modern, individualistic society, where we're often more concerned with having a better car or a better phone than our neighbor, rather than building genuine connections.

Singapore, for Fatima, offered that lost sense of collective well-being. "Who gives a shit about bubble gum," she said, "if you can walk at 3 a.m. in the morning freely and nobody's gonna, you know, you're safe." That's powerful stuff.

Bittersweet Goodbyes

So, if Singapore was so amazing, why leave? This is where the story gets a bit bittersweet. Fatima and her husband tried to become Singaporean, applying for permanent residency. But increasingly, the government's immigration policies shifted. The new "COMPASS" points system, designed to attract high-earning, specific talent, meant that older expats, or those in non-priority sectors (like Fatima's textile consultancy), found it harder and harder to stay. It became too expensive, too tenuous.

Fatima felt the "vibrancy" of Singapore was being eroded, as small businesses struggled to employ local seamstresses or cater to the "common" person, while the ultra-wealthy were prioritized. It’s a pragmatic approach, as their founder Lee Kuan Yew advocated, but it comes with a cost – potentially losing that very kampung spirit that made it so special for people like Fatima.

What Stays with You

Fatima's journey is a vivid reminder that "home" isn't always where you're born, or even where you spend the longest. Sometimes, it's the place where you feel safest, most connected, and most able to thrive, even if that connection is eventually severed by external forces.

I'm truly inspired by Fatima’s resilience, her willingness to embrace every adventure, and her ability to find joy and community in unexpected places. She's a fabulous human being, and I'm so grateful she shared her incredible story with us.

What do you think? Have you ever found a place that felt like "home" in an unexpected way? What values do you prioritize when choosing where to live? Let me know in the comments below!

Until next time, keep exploring, keep questioning, and keep connecting!

Paul.

Warmly,

Your Host, Paul.

🎙️ Listen to the full conversation on Whereabouts Tales — available on Spotify, YouTube, and all major podcast platforms.