🇫🇷🇺🇸 From Surf City to Strasbourg: Adrien’s Journey to Feeling at Home Abroad

Episode #0023

What does “home” really mean when you’ve grown up between countries, cultures, and languages? In episode #0023 of Whereabouts Tales, I sit down with Adrien Lightning — born in California, raised in Washington, and now calling France home. Adrien’s story is an open window into the beautiful mess of expat life: part escape, part arrival, and entirely human.

“We stopped holding hands in public.”

Adrien and their husband didn’t move to France for fun. They left the U.S. because daily life became unsafe. As a queer, trans couple, threats weren’t rare — they were weekly. From being targeted in the streets to developing coded narratives just to feel safe, their American experience turned into a survival strategy. And so, they packed their bags — not just to escape danger, but to reclaim a sense of peace.

But let’s be clear: Adrien doesn’t trash-talk the U.S. In fact, they speak of it with warmth. The landscapes. The national parks. The spontaneous friendliness of strangers. It’s all still there in their heart — it just couldn’t be their daily reality anymore.

From Québécois French to French French (and a side of Lyonnais)

Language plays a central role in Adrien’s relocation journey — and not without its plot twists. They studied French for years in the U.S., only to discover upon landing in Lyon that they had, unintentionally, learned a thick Québécois accent. “You sound like you're from a random city in Quebec,” a French friend told them. “Not even Montreal.”

This linguistic mismatch became a running joke — and a point of pride. Over time, Adrien powered through awkward phone calls, bakery corrections, and bureaucratic run-ins, building fluency and resilience one misunderstood phrase at a time. Now? They teach others how to laugh through the learning curve.

“You need people, not just newness.”

For the first six months, the thrill of France was enough — the baguettes, the boulangeries, the slower pace. But as Adrien candidly shares, novelty fades. What you need is a community. They found theirs through language exchanges, Dungeons & Dragons, and the universal glue of nerd culture. They now play cello again, volunteer, and enjoy a pace of life that feels like... breathing.

Culture shock in reverse

France didn’t just change Adrien’s postal code. It changed their politics, their pace, even how they define happiness. They dropped the five-year plan and embraced the process. “I don’t define happiness anymore,” Adrien says. “It’s just doing your best to be content with where you are.”

But they also began to miss things they once overlooked — road trips, drive-thru Starbucks runs, camping weekends. The U.S. isn't the villain of this story. It’s the ex you still think about, even if you’ve moved on for good.

If you're planning to move to France…

Adrien has two life-saving tips:

1. Say “Bonjour” first — always, to everyone, no matter what.

2. Start apartment hunting months before you arrive. Airbnb is not a long-term solution, and no, luck is not a plan.

They learned both lessons the hard way — and shared them with plenty of wit so you don’t have to.

Adrien’s honesty, humor, and warmth make this one of the most engaging conversations we’ve had on Whereabouts Tales. If you’ve ever felt in-between cultures — or dreamed of trading speed for sanity — this episode is for you.

🎧 Listen now on Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts.